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Why I am unique, and how my environment affects this.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Happy Monday

First on the list, is this article, Marriage is for White People. 'Marriage Is for White People' By Joy Jones Sunday, March 26, 2006; Page B01 I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether. But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. Please read the rest if you can. If you can’t access the article and you really want to read it, let me know. I read the article and I was amazed at how narrow minded the author is. I think too many people walk through life with a half-preconceived notion of their spouse/mate. Be more flexible and you will be more successful. Period. An example, if you are only looking for a person between the height of six feet and six feet two inches, no smoking, likes only medium sized dogs and tropical fish, attends church 5-6 times a year, likes chicken but not turkey, and brushes his teeth twice a day, are you going to throw the man away who is all but one of these? Probably not, you’ll say, but a lot of people do. Now, let us change the example to: a person between the height of six feet and six feet two inches, no smoking, likes only medium sized dogs and tropical fish, attends church 5-6 times a year, if of Vietnamese descent, likes chicken but not turkey, and brushes his teeth twice a day. Did you notice the difference? It’s called the race factor, and I think it is greatly over-rated. I don’t buy into the color-blind stance, because that is impossible in the world today. It is possible to be race apathetic. I notice a person’s race, sure. I really do try not to buy into the pre-conceived notions that come with it, however. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. The fact is, once race is removed from the equation and you have to classify a person based on their remaining characteristics, what you will find is a person that you like or you don’t like. If you don’t like the person, chances are, it will be for a race-independent reason. That’s all I’m saying. All these people out there with such a narrow definition of the person they want to marry (or whatever), are bound to be disappointed. It’s like trying to find a job. If you say you can only work in Anywhere, Anystate, then you had better make sure you are trained in something the area can support. Do not go to school and become a Nuclear engineer, then move to Fargo, North Dakota. I’m just saying. There is so much more I could say about this article, but I’ll just stop right there. The kids are growing up way too fast, or they need to be potty trained. I spent yesterday sewing six new diaper covers. Three size small for Emma, the incredible growing baby who at 9 weeks has left newborn sizes behind. Three size large for Martin who at 22 months has finally gotten to size large. I had made him three size larges a couple of months back, but they were these super cute covers with a knot fabric covering, that wicked like a mo-fo, because Martin is AKA Cpt. Pee-pee. Us cloth diapering Mommies say wicking as opposed to leaking, just so you know. The end result is the same, wet clothes, wet baby. Nuff said. Still on my cutting table, waiting to be sewn are, a new skirt for me, a new slip for said skirt, and a summer outfit for Emma. In my basket is a cut out shirt for me and a linen skirt for me. To be sewn in the “near” (ha ha ha) future are another 2 summer outfits for Emma and a dress for me. Which brings me to things currently taking up my time. These are things outside the obvious work, sleep and family. Hobbies, if you will. These things are sewing, reading and gaming. All of these things are in direct competition with each other for my time. I can read while I nurse Emma, so that isn’t so bad. I can also read in bed at night while Jason watches TV, also not so bad. Sewing I can only do when I am well-rested and have no distractions. So mostly during Martin’s nap on the weekends. If Emma is quiet or I can get someone else to watch her. Gaming, I can do during Martin’s nap if I have Emma on my lap. I can also nurse her while I game, but this is a bit more tricky, and can only be done on the left side, because I am right handed. But I really do need to get through those sewing projects. I haven’t been buying clothes because of all the sewing I want to do, but it is HARD with two little ones. Easier, really to just go shopping, but nice clothes are SOOOOO expensive. Anyway, I think I have gone on for long enough.

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