Gone but not forgotten

Gone, but not forgotten I am talking about my brain, of course. I think it left me about a week ago and has yet to return. Regardless, the show must go on. I wish to emulate my “Stay on target” blog, and do the same for today. The agenda is as follows: Eating habits, and my fear of twins. Eating habits This topic arises from Martin’s pediatrician appointment. He was, of course, still small. He had dropped off the charts a bit more. Of course, I am a very small person. I am short, and small. I can wear girls sizes. That’s right. I can shop at Gap Kids and Limited Too. Jason is tall and skinny. I always figured our kids would be tall and skinny, also. Well, Martin is growing in length just fine, but he gained just over a pound in the last 3 months. This alone is not a source of worry for me. He is a very active baby. He walks, runs (stumbles), and crawls. Even when he is watching Dora or Sesame St., he is always on the move. And he eats. Boy does he eat. He eats a huge breakfast, then a mid-morning snack, then lunch, then an afternoon snack, then dinner. When I say snack, I am meaning a sit down and get fed snack. Not a few cookies thrown at him during the day. He also gets plenty of those. The main thing about Martin’s (and our) diet, is that we don’t eat a lot of junk. Sure, I LOVE chocolate, but I don’t eat it for dinner. Martin has eaten very little processed food. I have just started him on Progresso soup. He has never tasted a hot dog, a French fry, candy, junk food of any sort. He stills eat vegetables. I think his diet is why he is so low on the growth charts. I feel that as long as he keeps eating good portions of healthy food, he will be fine. The last thing I want is a fat kid. I wouldn’t know what to do with one. I figure we already have enough going against us, TV, video games, the internet. The last thing we need is a junk food diet. This topic is also enhanced by my lunch experience today. I went out during lunch to buy a card for Jason’s birthday. I was also going to buy his gift, but I couldn’t find the Best Buy. So, I got the card, and I saw that I needed gas, and I was also starving. There was a Wendy’s next to a gas station. Viola! I can’t remember exactly the last time I was at Wendy’s. It may have been a few months after Martin was born, when my sister was visiting us. I think so… Anyway. I went, and I was disappointed that they no longer had the pitas there. Yes, they probably were discontinued years ago, sigh. Anyway, so I ordered a spicy chicken with some chili and a sprite. Lucky for me, they guy filled up the cup with ice, so I got very little soda. I went and sat down, and proceeded to scrape most of the mayo from the bread. I have to saw, the sandwich was no very good, but I was very hungry. The chili was nice though. As I was finishing up, a family sat down near to me, three kids and the parents. When I looked up, I noticed that the mom was very overweight; the dad just overweight, one of the kids was overweight. I guess the other two were still too young. Anyway, I don’t want to be that family. Besides, I was so unimpressed with the sandwich; it will be quite some time before I go back to Wendy’s. Hmmm, blog is getting very long… TWINS???? I fear I may be carrying twins. Why? Well, I don’t think I am very big (even though I feel it), but the baby isn’t moving much. I recall Martin being a very active critter in there. This baby is very lazy. It seems that if there were two in there, there wouldn’t be so much room, and they wouldn’t move around as much. But…I don’t feel two lumps in there. And I’m not that big. But all will be know next Thursday, because that s when I have my ultrasound. My other fear is the baby is horrible deformed, but I can’t even let become a fully formed thought. As a matter of fact when I type it, I kinda spaced put a bit, and typed real fast. Anyway, that’s it for today.

Uh-Oh

A song: I was so tired I got no sleep last night

I was still angry, things were not alright

and my baby didn't sleep so well

he ain't no dummy, he can tell

when mommy and daddy argue it must feel like hell

so I feel asleep at my desk today

hopefully I will still get paid

but I'm feelin' much better...

Okay, that was terrible, but you get the point. We did come to a conclusion, and it just takes me awhile to cool down after a fight. I've always been like that, ever since I was a little girl. My sister and I would get into an argument, I would sulk for the rest of the day. My feelings get hurt by the smallest thing. But things are okay again back at the homestead. Jason runs a bit hot, and has an annoying tendency to open mouth before running that idea through the thought processing center. This is basically what occurred yesterday. So my mother is in no danger of being precipitously licked out from the house. Other than the great fight and it's aftermath, I have no news to report. Sorry. I thought about angry shopping, but I didn't have the energy. Maybe tonight. We'll see. Cheerio.

Why?

Jason is a butt-head. That is all. OK, that isn't all. I am sure there are women out there who aren't married to gigantic ASS-HOLES, but I am not one of them. What kind of person would kick my mother out of the house, when she has no discernible job skills because she is such a loser? I keep it no secret that the woman is a huge thorn in my side, but I can't escape the notion that one does not kick your mother out of the house unless she has traumatized, abused, abandoned, mortally wounded, neglected, etc, you. While my mother was, and is, no June Cleaver she did manage to keep the sexual perverts from us, keep a roof over our heads, keep us relatively well-fed, and made sure we went to school; and we were both able to go off to college and "make" something of ourselves. But even still, I would find it a very LARGE and BITTER pill to swallow to kick my mother from our house, when she has no-where to go. Especially since she will feel compelled to call my sister (for who else could she call), and my sister will hate me for the REST OF ETERNITY. Asshole knows this and still wants her gone. Hello? Anybody home? Of course this conversation was held as I was making my way to work an hour ago (we had a pediatrician appt this morning, and he wasn't a gigantic asshole then), and I am driving on the BELTWAY of Washington D.C. How very safe. So I end up yelling at him that if he kicks my mom out I'm leaving him and taking the kids. And he's all, whatever. Then I actually felt the string holding myself together snap (I think I hear d it also) and I screech "you have no heart", end the call and throw my phone across the van. I then spent the remainder of my commute in suppressed tears, and I get to work (where I began eating), and he hasn't even called me back! I am very angry. Sorry for the long, garbled paragraph, but that is how I feel.

Stay on target...

Hello, one and all. I have several things to discuss today, so I will not ramble on as is my usual MO. Gmail I have been out in the cold, so to say, regarding the gmail. The reasons for this are several. When Gmail was initially launched, so was my son in a manner of speaking. I wasn't in the throes of birth or anything, but he came into this world in early May 2004, and gmail came into this world early April 2004. This means that all of my energies were directed at welcoming the new human being into this world, and not so much on securing an email address that I foolishly assumed that I could get in several months. But that release has not occurred. Alas. I was up the geek river without a paddle, so to speak. Here I am without a gmail address. I would be shunned. Well, I now have a gmail address of my very own. It is pavlina2.0@gmail.com. That's meant to be read: Pavlina two point O, like Pavlina version 2.0. Get it? Kinda geeky, but someone had already taken pavlina. Anyhoo, I will place that more prominently on the blog, so all can e-mail me, which naturally leads into my next point of discussion.... My blogger template I have been restricted in adapting my blogspot template, due to my lack of knowledge of CSS. I still don't know CSS, but I am looking it over. So stayed tuned, for one day you shall visit and I will finally have a new layout, but until then. I did want to institute the trackback feature, I thought this would be very cool. I am going to use haloscan. With this new and improved feature of my blog, my new e-mail address will also be placed on the sidebar as well. So now in addition to leaving me comments, you can also trackback to my blog, AND you can e-mail me. Cool. Podcasting I love podcasting. I have a few of my favorites listed on the sidebar. I have a few new ones that I also started listening to, and I will also add them. I really like Geek Fu Action Grip. I was listening to Mur's new show, I should be writing. She has written reviews for some Nintendo DS games. She mentioned how cool the games were. Well, I love video games, I just don't have the time to play them. But I found this sweet deal on Amazon so of course now I want this thing. Like I would ever have time to play it. And the last topic of this day. Maternity clothes What's that famous quote? "Give me liberty or give me death." Well, give me decent maternity clothes or give me death. Right now I am staring death in the face. When I was in graduate school, this was no problem. I was able to fit into most of my jeans until I got very huge, then I got a pair of maternity jeans for the last trimester. I wore jeans, t-shirts and sweaters. It was comfy. Oh yeah, I also had a pair of maternity corduroys. Now, I have this high-paying business casual job, so I can't do that anymore. I refuse to pay for maternity clothes. So I have recently started bursting out of my shirts and pants lately. I found this gadget called the belly belt, so I can wear my normal pants as long as I have a long shirt so the belly belt doesn't show. I also capitulated and purchased: 1 maternity 'nice" skirt for work, 1 long-ass maternity shirt for work, 1 non-maternity, oxford shirt for work, in a size larger, and 1 non-maternity sleeveless, stretchy sleveless top in a size larger. Lets see how long they last. I also have some shirts with my company name on them, so I will also be wearing those a lot. I would have worn one today, but I had a dentist appt, and I don't want to go out in the general public looking like a dork wearing a company shirt. Ok, so I managed to stay pretty much on topic today. I also have a amusing and very short story relating to the dentist trip that I will post later on.

Supplemental post

A funny story and what is going on with my blog. So read the first part, and skip the second if you wish. What is going on with my comments? Why are there two comment fields? I have no idea. I am about to eat lunch, then I have to do some work. I will get that sorted out at some point this week, but just leave comments wherever. I will read them. Thanks. And feel free to email me or leave a comment of you know why I have two comment fields and you know how to make them live happily together. The dentist. Making this story as short as possible, because we all know how I ramble on. I went to the dentist. Why would I go whilst pregnant, you ask? Indeed. Because I believe my last trip to the dentist occurred in May 1999. There is no dental insurance in graduate school, then I was pregnant with Martin, then I just kept putting it off. I didn't want the pattern to repeat. I figured if I go now, they won't be able to do much, but I will get in the "system", so I bit the bullet and went. I just wanted to make sure all my teeth weren't rotting out. I mean, they look fine to me, but I am no dentist. So, I go the office this morning. The "assistant" gets me, and walks me through this maze, while chattering away then says, "oh but first we'll take some x-rays." I'm just opening my mouth to say, I don't think so I'm knocked up. And then she says, quite offhandedly "oh, you aren't pregnant are you?" Why, yes I am, I reply, about 5 months. Oh, so no x-rays right now. She said I would discuss it with the doc. Now, not to brag or anything, but I have probably had more radiological training than that entire office (and it was a large office), and I most assuredly have a greater knowledge base of radio chemistry and nuclear chemistry that any of those people. I do have a radioisotope table at home, I confess. So thanks, but no thanks. If my teeth have been merrily rotting away for years, they can rot for another 6 months. Anyway, what was the point of this story? Just the way she asked if I was pregnant. It was so off-handed. I mean, I WROTE it down on the sheet. You would think they could at least take a look.

The Hair post, redux

I was surprised at how many responses I got to my hair post. Write it and they will come, and come they did. Thanks to everyone who reads my blog, and more thanks to those who read and leave comments. I really appreciate the effort that takes. I read other blogs, and I feel what they are saying, but I can't think of a worthwhile comment, so I leave without writing anything. I always read the comments and I always read the accompanying blogs and/or websites, so keep them coming. Okay, back to hair. I used to spend a LOT of time and money on my hair. I would get it chemically straightened (relaxed), then I would blow dry it straight to get rid of frizzies, then curl it to give it some curl. So I would still only wash it once a week, my hair really couldn't take more. It was fried beyond belief from getting it relaxed for 10+ years. Then everyday I would get up, turn on the curling iron and curl my hair. My hair length had reached an equilibrium length, which was somewhere above shoulder length. Then, my cat (may Maria rest in peace) got very sick, and I was a poor graduate student, so all my free (and not so free) cash went to her vet bills, and I stopped relaxing my hair. At first I was like, ugh nasty hair, but I got used to it. It was nice not "keeping ahead" of the new growth. The other nice thing was that my hair grew so fast and it is so healthy, I don't ever see myself going back. My hair also like to split on it's own, it doesn't need heat to speed it along. I can only blow-dry it during the winter, because once humidity hits my hair, POOF. So, that is my hair saga. Please feel free to share yours also, through comments, or a posting on your blog. Cool So, is Pavlina really my name? Yes, it really is my name, translated into a different language. In my youth, I took a fully immersive language course, learning Czech. We were all given Czech names, and mine is translated as Pavlina. Pavlina I think actually translates to Paulina in English, but close enough. Paulette is my real name, as can be seen in my address, pauletterg.blogspot.com. But doesn't Pavlina sound so much cooler? And no, I remember very little Czech. Only enough to make a Czech ass of myself. Au revoir.

Oh, the endless delays

So, I was listening to The Girl on Tech podcast. There was a show called I married a geek, or something like that. Anyway, all these vaguely geeky people (like myself) were talking about how they couldn't spend time with their families because of their podcasts and webpages and etc, that were collectively eating into family time. OK. I thought (very briefly) about starting a podcast. But then I came back into the real world. I don't even have enough time to exercise. How can I possibly have the time to start a podcast? I am trying to raise a fine human being, not the next Jeffrey Dalmer, so I do try and spend time with the family. I work full-time, out-of-the-home, so I get maybe 2 hours of family time, before Martin goes to "sleep". Then I get maybe 2 hours of time with Jason, and half of that is usually sucked up in chores and getting Martin to sleep. I can't even update my blog at home. I do it during my breaks at work. Hey, I'm allowed breaks, right? I very seldom do the internet thing at home. Very seldom. Maybe during the weekends. So all this is a long and round-about explanation as to why my blog is not updated like clockwork. Sorry about that, but I have a life, just like you. Any, what I really wanted to talk about was..... MY HAIR. You know the legend of Samson and Delilah. Well, I am mainly talking about the part of the legend where Samson believes that the source of his strength is in his hair. Yes. I totally understand. My power is also in my hair. I hate my hair, but I can't seem to cut it. It has gotten so bad, that I no longer trust stylists with my hair, I purchased a pair of trimmers, and I trim my own hair. I have to lie down after I trim it. I'm not kidding. You may be thinking I have hair past my ass. No. I don't even properly know how long my hair is, truly. I have extremely curly hair. No. Extreme. It is like one of those springs that you find in a ball point pen. The kind with the clicky-top. I'm not kidding. And I have a LOT of it. It takes me 30 minutes to wash it. Just to WASH it. THIRTY minutes. 1800 seconds. Yes. Then it takes me another 15 minutes to comb the knots out. FIFTEEN minutes. Then it takes me 2 more hours to make all my little twisty-thingies that I usually wear. So the twisty-thing in the very front of my face will reach down to my top lip, usually. If I stretch it, it reaches to under my chin. alternatively, I can wash it, then comb it, then blow dry it. Then take a flat-iron and straighten it. Then take my hot rollers and curl it. This also takes about 2 hours. No maybe more like a buck quarter. But still. I wash my hair, on average, every other week. Yes. Every. Other. Week. Why? Did you read all that? How often would you wash your hair if the entire process took three hours? Yes, I thought so. Sometimes it is every week, though. It depends. I'll probably wash it this weekend (I washed it last Sunday) because my twists look a bit crooked this time. Anyway. I could cut my hair, and it would take significantly less time, but I can't. I just can't. I wish I could, but I can't. I'll lose my power, you see? So I deal with my rat's nest. I hate my hair.

My job post, as promised

What do I do, in real life? Other than bitch, whine, and complain which I excel at. Too bad no-one wants to pay me to do that for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. After all, I did learn from the best. I am formally trained as a chemist, of the Inorganic type. This means I disdain any organic molecule (unless it contains a metal), refuse to repeat such things as: Diels-Alder, SN2, SN1, E1, E2, hydrogenation, dehydrohalogenation, Grignard, etc. You get the point. Those reactions are too smelly, and not near hazardous enough. Well, except for the entire drying of the solvents, thing. Those big stills are pretty cool. I mean, how is refluxing 5 liters of THF over sodium wire and benzophenone not a cool thing? Especially when you add some THF that has formed some peroxides over the exposed sodium wire, because someone in lab has been slacking on their still-refilling duties, I mean, how cool is that? Also, at my Graduate school, there was a legend (true) about this guy who was using NaK alloy in the still, and their was a little accident that turned him into a human torch. Wow. There is dedication for you. He actually returned and finished his degree. But anyway. One can still play with stills and use metals at the same time. Then you can also play with toxic, heavy metals, which are really cool. This is what I did. But now, I primarily use vibrational spectroscopy. You name it, I know it. General IR and Raman techniques. Specialized IR and Raman techniques. etc, etc, etc. This is also why I have so much down-time. I get samples, I run them, I analyze the data, I write the report, I go on-line and update my blog. Sometimes I get to travel to exotic locations and do it. Exotic locations like New Jersey and New York state. Anyway. That's what I do. Which is also why I am so geeky. It is an occupational hazard. I don't play RPGs though. I have never owned a polyhedral dice. I have never attended a Con, even though they do sound like fun. I never learned Klingon, programming, or HTML properly. I love my tech gadgets, I love Sci-Fi, I love science and I LOVE math. I still think the space shuttle is cool. I try to find other geeks like myself and bond with them. Other than that, I am me. And that is my job.

Holy Horrific Travel, Batman

Yes, I am on the road again. I hate it. I am over the "wow, look at all this sleep I get on the road" fixation. Since becoming pregnant with spawn #2, my boobs have dried up. It wasn't all at once. Like, opps, I'm pregnant, there goes the milk supply. It was much more gradual than that. At first, it was nice because I no longer had to pump at work. Then I no longer had to pump at night. Then I no longer had to pump at all. It was like a garden hose. You know how you turn it off at the tap, then you have to hold your sprayer nozzle to release the pressure? That was my boobies. It just took some time for them to empty. I tried nursing Martin I think a week ago or so. He used his teeth, and hence, Martin is weaned. I must confess, he doesn't seem to heartbroken about it at all. No grabbing at the shirt or anything. Little traitor. But he is still, very much, a momma's boy. His future wife will hate me, the slut. Anyway, enough about the milk already. Travel. Jason, at times, can be very thoughtful, and at other times, very butt-heady. His more thoughtful nature is to let me sleep at night when Martin wakes up. We have started just sitting in his room until he falls asleep again. So I usually end up sleeping in the glider and Jason just sleeps on the floor. But Jason, is all, "no, Ill get him, you get some sleep" but I am not fooled. He just wants sex. I don't want to give it to him, because I feel like a big, nasty, bloated thing. Ugh. So I am getting more sleep these days, which is nice. And that's all Folks!

Hello...world

Hello hello and hello to you all. I am exhausted. Why? 1) I stayed up way too late finishing the stupid Harry Potter book, and now I have nothing to read on the plane home while I can't listen to my I-Pod. 2) Then I watched MythBusters until midnight because I am an idiot 3) I had to get up early for my "Interview, Part I" 4) I have been alternately bored to death, excited, rained upon, and walked to death all day. Pavlina, very tired. Oh yeah, check this s*** out. Brought to you by fellow blogger, BlueWolfess BagButton you can go to her bloghere.And that's all I got to say about that. Interview, Part I. I'm tired. That's all. Not quite. I am wearing three inch heels, people. That means I do NOT want to be walked all over F****** creation. Period. But I was. I must have walked about 50 miles today. My feet hurt. Then the rain. The rain. Note how much walking I did. A majority of this occurred, outside, in the rain. And Holy Stupid Lunch, Batman. The girl meeting me for lunch was clueless. As in, the girl had not a single clue, or knowledge of how to either find or get a clue. Other than that, it was dandy. My talk went fine. I talked to a few interesting people, although I get my panties in a bunch when I am constantly asked "Do you have any questions?" What am I, a moron? If I have a question, feel quite assured that I (with my big-ass mouth) will not hesitate to open it and ask my question. I'm so tired, I just want to go to bed, and sleep sleep sleep. I mean, I am away from home, I am meant to be getting lots of sleep. Not staying up reading Harry Potter. Ugh, I'm going to bed. After I get through coming up with questions for, Interview, Part II. Thanks for reading.

Holy Hectic Travel, Batman

I have slept in my bed twice in the last week. Ugh. I really love my bed. It is new. Is is a lovely pillow top. I think it is what Heaven must feel like. I'll let you know when I'm dead. Anyway. The travel. The sheer drudgery of it all. What makes this particular trip even worse...continued down below *Run on sentence alert* As if, sitting in some old, smelly hotel room on a Sunday evening, starving to death and dying of thirst, (because the Detroit airport can't be bothered to install a snack stand for purchasing water in ghetto concourse C, and I only had 40 minutes to get from the end of concourse A to C, and had to pee like there was no tomorrow, and the f***ing up-escalator was broken and this fetus is already taken over my rib-cage so I almost died of oxygen deprivation by the time I got to the top), beats being with my family in my nice, cozy and non-smelly house. Ugh. Continued...is that I am here for a "job interview". So I have to burn up my precious vacation time, whilst lying to the people I work with (like they care) why I am here. I am meant to be working on my interview talk, but I am updating my blog instead. I'm glad I have my priorities straight. Oh yes, thanks to all you lovely ladies who have forgiven me for being such a cow. It makes me feel all warm inside. It is good for us ladies to band together. Anyway. So I still have to: 1) work on talk 2) practice talk 3) buy batteries for dead laser pointer 4) buy and eat dinner 5) get fold wrinkles out of shirt 6) Hope that Belly Belt works in the morning 7) Get sleep so I do not act deranged tomorrow. It is now 7pm, so I have three hours to do all of the above. Well, except for the sleep part. I had better get moving. I promise, I will bitch about my job. Tomorrow. After I tell you all about my "interview" Thanks for reading!

First, an apology

I am sorry. I apologize for my tactless and thoughtless words from two days ago. I have got no right what-so-ever to condemn or put-down another writer's blog. Period. End of story. I am the pot calling the kettle black, and I have done a very unforgivable thing. I do not expect anyone to forgive me, but please take my mistake as that, a mistake, and let us move on. For to err is to be human, as we all now. I have edited the offending post, and if you go and read it there are large EDITED where the offending bits were. From now on, I will read other blogs with an open mind, the way I hope people read my blog. If I don't like the blog, then I will cease reading it, and I will NOT slam it in my own. That is a promise. Thanks for reading.

About yesterday

Sorry about that post. I may have come off a bit, hummmm, maniacal, or pompous, or just crazy. While I am probably a mix of all of those things, maybe I should keep it inside. Well, actually, no I shouldn't. If I can't be my crazy self here, then where? I do apologize if my post was tedious to read, however. That is unforgivable. Now, onto better things. I am post early today because I have lots of work to do, and I am taking a half-day today as I have a pre-natal appt at 1pm. This means I have to update my blog, do any other general web surfing, and my work before I leave here at 12:30. We'll see. I'll probably end up taking work home with me. *gasp* Anyway. The one thing I really wanted to get off my chest is this entire Grand Theft Auto sex scene. I saw it last night, and wow, was I not totally not impressed. I was expecting more porno, less cartoon. First of all, I know for a fact that video console graphics would have allowed for much better definition of the naked woman. Really. You could see poorly formed breasts, maybe with a slight hint of nipple. And, that's it. A naked butt. It truly was looking like a Barbie doll. Also, the guy was fully clothed. Fully clothed. Need I say more? Really. No big deal, says I. Not impressed at all. Would I be happy if my 17 year old kid saw this? Well, honestly, any 17 year old boy has probably at least seen higher definition sex than that. Period. That little bit of poorly-animated sex would not get me lathered up. I wouldn't let any kid under 17 play a rated M for mature game anyway. Unless I played it first and could really judge for myself the violence, etc that earned it the rating. I play these games, you see. Or maybe I would let my 15 year old play Halo with me, but not alone or with his friends. Just like a rated R movie, or whatever. Something. I'm babbling, but I think you get me. Anyway. I have to do some work. I have the program open, and the blank screen is egging me on. Tomorrow, I'll try and have an update on my critter, and also on my job. Cheers. Thanks for reading!

Save me from the idiots

By the title, I am referring to most of the human inhabitation on our planet. But not to those who are enlightened enough to read my blog, of course. Or those who are fortunate enough to be related to me (except for my mother) and anyone else who I shall deem worthy. If you don't agree with me, then stop reading EDITED Oh yeah, and I know my grammar isn't perfect and I am perfectly capable of writing in the correct grammatical style, but I'm not. So what brought on my hate-fest? My birth club, of course. I feel like a martyr, or something. What do you call someone who exposes herself constantly to punishment because she simply can't stop herself? That's me. I go to the stupid board(ask me why, I don't know) and always end up thinking, "How can anyone so stupid be responsible for bringing up the next generation of people in this country?" No wonder we are going downhill, the idiots are taking over. EDITED EDITED Personally, I would MUCH rather complain about my husband, my mother, my job, my fat, my acne, and MY LIFE. Oh yes and what I had/ot want for lunch. Today I would like some pizza. Like an entire pizza. I did this two weeks ago, I was in HEAVEN. I did finally update my template, updating some links and such. Enjoy. Thanks for the comments. BTW, what is "tagging"? Thanks for reading.